Sorry, wrote this yesterday.... forgot to post...
Second day of the fast. It seems like i am a lot hungrier than yesterday during lunch. As i was reading a paper, i really couldn't concentrate on it anymore because of the hunger, so i knew God was pulling me away. I took a short walk around campus today to spend time with him. My body was felt very weak while i was walking, and i felt really hungry. But walking away from my desk definitely helped me concentrate on my time with God. Today i realized how weak i was. I've only skipped one meal and i already feel like my body is deteriorating, without God's provision of food, how can i even function?? This gave me a clear perspective of where God was and where i am.
This spurred me to realize how prideful i was in my life. Recently my life just seem full of stuff to do, problems to solve (both in research and in my new home), and each time i feel like i can take on the challenge and solve it by myself. I never stopped to ask God for help, even when things aren't going exactly right. I pride myself in the ability to solve challenges, but it has caused my life to be self centered and too prideful to ask God for anything. Even though i ask for prayer on Friday for my research work, but when i do encounter problems i just mindlessly go on google or read papers, instead of slowing down to pray. So i did. I prayed for my research and all the problems i'm encountering, and i asked for help. And then i waited, and continued walking to spend time with God. At the end of the walk, all of a sudden i thought of something for my research, not exactly a break through, but a change of perspective! Can i just say God works very quickly!?
anyway, one more day for the fast!
isaac
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Fasting: Day 2
Sup guys,
It has been wonderfully encouraging reading each of your respective stories, keep it up everyone! haha - to be honest, the fasting experience has been a slow start for me this time around and it wasn't until last night that I started hearing something that was tangibly God. I was reading how jesus was throwing money changers out of the temple. I've always assumed that this was because they were doing business in the house of God, and seeing as how i'm not selling cds of my awesome guitar playing in church - this passage doesn't seem to apply to me.
I learnt that he wasn't kicking them out because they were conducting business or even cheating their customers. He was pissed because this was all their worship had degenerated into - a sinful life punctuated with the occasional sacrifice that was the moral equivalent of a half-hearted scrub at the stains that sin leaves behind. He was angered at this religious institution that the temple had come to represent and how God was not a part of it. THIS is something that applies to me, i have so many religious habits that i wrap around myself thinking that these are what would draw me closer to God when in reality they've become hindrances - just as the temple/laws became to the jewish people. In the same way that jesus said he would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, I find that I need to take apart everything that I think of as my "spiritual life" and rebuild whenever I feel like im not getting closer to God. The nature of our faith is to grow, if im NOT getting closer to God then i am either backsliding, or stagnating.
It has been wonderfully encouraging reading each of your respective stories, keep it up everyone! haha - to be honest, the fasting experience has been a slow start for me this time around and it wasn't until last night that I started hearing something that was tangibly God. I was reading how jesus was throwing money changers out of the temple. I've always assumed that this was because they were doing business in the house of God, and seeing as how i'm not selling cds of my awesome guitar playing in church - this passage doesn't seem to apply to me.
I learnt that he wasn't kicking them out because they were conducting business or even cheating their customers. He was pissed because this was all their worship had degenerated into - a sinful life punctuated with the occasional sacrifice that was the moral equivalent of a half-hearted scrub at the stains that sin leaves behind. He was angered at this religious institution that the temple had come to represent and how God was not a part of it. THIS is something that applies to me, i have so many religious habits that i wrap around myself thinking that these are what would draw me closer to God when in reality they've become hindrances - just as the temple/laws became to the jewish people. In the same way that jesus said he would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, I find that I need to take apart everything that I think of as my "spiritual life" and rebuild whenever I feel like im not getting closer to God. The nature of our faith is to grow, if im NOT getting closer to God then i am either backsliding, or stagnating.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
He loves us
This past weekend, I made a trip down to sunny San Diego, and didn't expect much other than meeting up with old friends and reliving my SoCal days. It turned out to be one encouraging weekend. For the past couple of months, I've felt distant from God and had doubts about how God could use me or work with me. Through a sermon on predestination vs. freewill, of all topics, I received new-found strength and a strong sense of God's love for me and everyone around me. On one of the pastor's points, he referenced Philippians 1:6, "...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." The pastor went on to say that there WILL be times when we feel distant from God, doubt God, or drift away. But we can be confident in knowing that He will finish what He started. God loves all of us so much. The service ended with the song "He loves us". The chorus, "He loves us, Oh how he loves us...." really really hit me, and the words I was singing became so real. Although I've felt discouraged, confused, or lost, God says.. hey I'm still here. Conclusion: God REALLY loves us and during times when we feel distant, know that He is still working and He will finish the good work He's started in us.
Fasting day 1
Hey all! I am not very eloquent with words...so bear with me while I splurge out some of my thoughts from my first day of fasting.
Today at work I talked to one of my co-workers about fasting, and amazingly enough, I felt really comfortable talking about my faith and why I was doing what I was doing. Usually I feel really awkward and unwilling to share about my faith, but today was different because of the 7 other people in the office, one other person was a Christian as well. The support I felt knowing that I wasn't alone made it easier for me to share.
At first when I was praying in the car, I felt really proud that I took this step. Later however, it also made me think about the fact that I should be able to share my faith even without another christian there. So I think for the next 2 days, I'm going to really pray about owning my faith and not letting it be dependent on others. Hope this all makes sense...it did in my head =D Hope you all are doing well!!!
Today at work I talked to one of my co-workers about fasting, and amazingly enough, I felt really comfortable talking about my faith and why I was doing what I was doing. Usually I feel really awkward and unwilling to share about my faith, but today was different because of the 7 other people in the office, one other person was a Christian as well. The support I felt knowing that I wasn't alone made it easier for me to share.
At first when I was praying in the car, I felt really proud that I took this step. Later however, it also made me think about the fact that I should be able to share my faith even without another christian there. So I think for the next 2 days, I'm going to really pray about owning my faith and not letting it be dependent on others. Hope this all makes sense...it did in my head =D Hope you all are doing well!!!
Fasting - day 1
Since some of us are fasting from today till Friday, i think it would be good to share a little about the experience, hopefully to encourage each other! Emily and i decided to we're going to fast lunch, not every meal.
During this time with God instead of lunch, the first thing that came in my mind(besides I'M HUNGRY) is to try and find things in my life to pray for. So i waited, and waited, and nothing came into mind. At first i thought, "Wow, thank you jesus! My life is so good, i really can't think of anything else i need." So i start praying for other people (on top of praying for a better relationship with God, but who doesn't pray for that? =P). However, i soon realized that this is a problem. My prayer life has slowly become me asking Jesus to do things. No matter if it's for myself or other people, i've fallen into a trap of being a spoiled brat. "I want this, i want that, blah blah blah!" And as i get into this habit, i realize that my "smooth sailing" life is exactly why i'm drifting from God. Since i don't have needs, then i will spend less and less time with God!! People always say that it's easier to praise God when everything is going right, and hard when nothing is going right. I think that's true, but at the same time, it's harder to grow when everything is going right!! I am not asking God for a difficult challenge (or hardship) to appear in my life so i grow, but i will be asking God for the ability to grow closer when everything is "smooth sailing"!
How's everyone else doing?
During this time with God instead of lunch, the first thing that came in my mind(besides I'M HUNGRY) is to try and find things in my life to pray for. So i waited, and waited, and nothing came into mind. At first i thought, "Wow, thank you jesus! My life is so good, i really can't think of anything else i need." So i start praying for other people (on top of praying for a better relationship with God, but who doesn't pray for that? =P). However, i soon realized that this is a problem. My prayer life has slowly become me asking Jesus to do things. No matter if it's for myself or other people, i've fallen into a trap of being a spoiled brat. "I want this, i want that, blah blah blah!" And as i get into this habit, i realize that my "smooth sailing" life is exactly why i'm drifting from God. Since i don't have needs, then i will spend less and less time with God!! People always say that it's easier to praise God when everything is going right, and hard when nothing is going right. I think that's true, but at the same time, it's harder to grow when everything is going right!! I am not asking God for a difficult challenge (or hardship) to appear in my life so i grow, but i will be asking God for the ability to grow closer when everything is "smooth sailing"!
How's everyone else doing?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Enough
While i was cleaning up the remaining bits of my old apartment, i kept wondering, how clean does it need to be? Am i doing enough? As i thought about it more, i realized that i face this question everyday. I'm always wondering if i'm doing _enough_ for my Ph.D program to eventually graduate. Emily is always worried that she's not doing _enough_ for her job (even though all the teachers say she's doing "beyond expectations"). Which leads me to the questions, how do we know when it's "Enough"?
Often we don't know what the standard is, thus, one thing we do is to try and measure against other people. We falsely compare ourselves to other people which either creates a sense of guilt (i'm not doing enough), or complacency (he's doing way less than i am). My spiritual journey is like this all the time. It's hard to judge whether i'm doing "enough" for God (since most of the time i think i'm not). Thus i start comparing to other people to find excuses (I'm doing more than him/her), or i fee guilty that i'm not doing enough, so i try to do more but for the wrong reasons...
I believe this constant battle of trying to do "enough" is us trying to "earn" approval. This is the exact opposite of what God wants. He simply wants us to be loved by him first. This goes for everything else in life as well. There's no point in me trying to compare myself to other Ph.D students. The standard is set by God, and i'm doing it all for him. Not to "earn" his approval, but to glorify him! I hope that we can all approach our lives in this way, so we're not motivated by guilt, nor are we slowed by complacency. We're simply doing everything for Him!
*P.S. Because of moving, this entry spanned a whole 5 days since last Friday..
Often we don't know what the standard is, thus, one thing we do is to try and measure against other people. We falsely compare ourselves to other people which either creates a sense of guilt (i'm not doing enough), or complacency (he's doing way less than i am). My spiritual journey is like this all the time. It's hard to judge whether i'm doing "enough" for God (since most of the time i think i'm not). Thus i start comparing to other people to find excuses (I'm doing more than him/her), or i fee guilty that i'm not doing enough, so i try to do more but for the wrong reasons...
I believe this constant battle of trying to do "enough" is us trying to "earn" approval. This is the exact opposite of what God wants. He simply wants us to be loved by him first. This goes for everything else in life as well. There's no point in me trying to compare myself to other Ph.D students. The standard is set by God, and i'm doing it all for him. Not to "earn" his approval, but to glorify him! I hope that we can all approach our lives in this way, so we're not motivated by guilt, nor are we slowed by complacency. We're simply doing everything for Him!
*P.S. Because of moving, this entry spanned a whole 5 days since last Friday..
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fasting
When uncle joe challenged us to write a personal mission statement for our lives i wrote something to the effect of having a Heavenly trajectory for my life and honestly haven't been keeping to that statement. Lately i feel like my mind's been drifting Ed-ward instead of God-ward (haha get it, get it?). Been thinking about doing a 3 day fast next week to get refocused back on God - anyone else interested in doing this with me?
Step 1: Don't eat.
Step 2: Pray when you should be eating.
Doesn't have to be all 3 meals of the day or even about food, the whole point of fasting is to shed stuff that pulls us from God.
Step 1: Don't eat.
Step 2: Pray when you should be eating.
Doesn't have to be all 3 meals of the day or even about food, the whole point of fasting is to shed stuff that pulls us from God.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Eating Habits
It is kind of encouraging to see people post here...haha I hope it's not just a burst of interest. Anyways, I want to share something about eating habits. We all know that we're suppose to chew our food thoroughly and swallow them slowly. well...at least the Chinese culture teach that. It promotes digestion in our mouth and discourage choking, which in turn improves our health status. but I noticed that we should eat the spirit food the same way we eat our regular food. today at the small group leaders' meeting, Don was reading a verse for us. and he read it soooo slowly....word by word. at first i thought "what the heck.... so slow dude..." but then i realized how inadequate and hasty my bible reading is. i try to go through it fast thinking that i'll retain the info, but i probably forget about it after i've pronounced it out of my mouth. Don's reading really reminded me that i should chew God's words slowly and really absorb the nutrients that are in it. and think of God's word as i crave for Taiwan foods. it's a mentality change for me today!
Transformation!
I should have posted this yesterday, but since i was moving and packing i got lazy. But one theme that keeps reoccuring in my life is how God transforms people. This thought first hit me during last week's sermon verses (2 Kings 5:1~14). The basic story is Naaman is this army leader who has leprosy. He wants to get healed so he goes to meet Elisha. Elisha then sends his servant who tells Naaman to wash in the river 7 times. Naaman is pissed as he was expecting Elisha to come out and wave his hands and pray over him, but he still does it and is healed.
We are like Naaman sometimes, when we want to be transformed we expect God to do it in a miraculous way (like how Naaman wanted a crazy hand waving and praying) or a sudden thunderous change. However, sometimes God works in small and ordinary ways (like how a Naaman just needed to wash his wounds like he always did, but with FAITH) but the results are even better and longer lasting than any miraculous change. In my life i have started trying to notice God in my ordinary daily life (hence the moving day post...). I believe God is calling for a transformation in OUR faith, but not through EXTRAordinary measures, but simply through seemingly ordinary ways.
Ed's sharing was a complete confirmation of this for me, especially when he shared about his trip. "It wasn't a trip about burning bushes, but how his life collided with theirs." Ed's verse was money:
The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
- 1 King 19:11-13
We are like Naaman sometimes, when we want to be transformed we expect God to do it in a miraculous way (like how Naaman wanted a crazy hand waving and praying) or a sudden thunderous change. However, sometimes God works in small and ordinary ways (like how a Naaman just needed to wash his wounds like he always did, but with FAITH) but the results are even better and longer lasting than any miraculous change. In my life i have started trying to notice God in my ordinary daily life (hence the moving day post...). I believe God is calling for a transformation in OUR faith, but not through EXTRAordinary measures, but simply through seemingly ordinary ways.
Ed's sharing was a complete confirmation of this for me, especially when he shared about his trip. "It wasn't a trip about burning bushes, but how his life collided with theirs." Ed's verse was money:
The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
- 1 King 19:11-13
moving day
Hey everyone!! Just wanted to share with you guys how AWESOME God is =D Today we rented a U-Haul to move over most of our stuff to the new place, but we were very worried that our stuff would get wet since it was pouring rain. However, God is awesome and the rain let up right when we were loading the car and moving everything over. Plus, we were so blessed to have the support and muscles of our friends Zack, David, and Albert. The move was much faster and enjoyable with our friends around us and God's sunshine beaming down. Even through the small things, God shows that he loves us!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Posting with your own account
Hey guys everyone can post with their own account!! Check your email and accept invitation!
Here's some instructions to get started:
1) Accept invitation from your gmail, and choose a display name.
2) To post a new entry, sign in your account (top right corner should say "sign in"
3) Then, click on "Dashboard", you should see the blogs your managing, and a big button that says "New Post". Click on it to start a new post. (Or click on "New Post" on the bar above)
4)You can also follow the blog by clicking the google "follow" button on the left of the blog.
5) You can comment on each post by clicking "comment" below the post
Here's some instructions to get started:
1) Accept invitation from your gmail, and choose a display name.
2) To post a new entry, sign in your account (top right corner should say "sign in"
3) Then, click on "Dashboard", you should see the blogs your managing, and a big button that says "New Post". Click on it to start a new post. (Or click on "New Post" on the bar above)
4)You can also follow the blog by clicking the google "follow" button on the left of the blog.
5) You can comment on each post by clicking "comment" below the post
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